On Socks

Socks may not be worthy of much thought to the average person, but I have given them their due and have been rewarded in kind. This treatise may not apply to the women-folk, as their requirements are different from our own. However, I think the principles described herein will be of use to most people.

A man, in general, has no more than 6 colors of socks he will ever need. Most of us get by with 2 or 3. My own are black, khaki and white. The white are exclusively athletic socks, and the black and khaki work for all of my daily needs. Here's where we get fresh: why not pick a particular style of sock for each color and use that one exclusively? For me, the brand is Gold Toe and the style is Auro. Only available at Target, these socks are perfect for my needs and not too expensive to have a hefty load of them. They are available in khaki and black (probably others, but I don't worry about that) and in various heights and patterns. I picked one pattern, loaded up on it, and ditched all of my other socks.

The benefits are much greater than you would probably imagine at first glance. First off, I don't sort socks. I put all my socks into one drawer, unsorted, except perhaps to be clumped by color. Also, I don't match socks when picking them out. When a sock gets a hole in it, I throw out the one bad sock instead of sending a perfectly good sock along with it. If a sock gets eaten by the dryer, I don't have to throw away its perfectly functional mate. There is no mate. There is some kind of polyamorous sock fusion going on, and that is why this system works so well.

In the morning, you pick two black socks and they always match. You pick two khaki socks? They match. If you wanted to be extremely organized, you could split your sock drawer into several sections, depending on your sock color selection, and then there would never even have to be any digging to find two of the same color. I do have a few alternate socks that I will wear from time to time, but they aren't my daily stuff. They end up tucked into the back of the drawer and are only brought out when I wear a gray suit or something.

The main thing is that this removes all thought from dealing with socks. Your laundry is about as easy as it can get, because matching socks always takes an inordinate amount of time. Now you just pile them and toss them in a drawer. Seriously, it's worth looking into.